Where we pretend to be a T1 and run cartels with our German buddies.
At Pisscum, we believe everyone should pay us money for
access to our customers. Because our packets are blessed
by Swiss mountain air.
Why only charge customers for traffic, when you can charge the CDNs too!
Requirements
Our Specialty
Last Resort
We own this ASN and act like we're a Tier 1 provider because we're special (in a bad way).
With over 42 BGP sessions (most paid through our cartel extortion), we connect to approximately 0.1% of the internet directly (if at all). The rest goes through our expensive transit providers, adding premium latency to your YouPoop videos. Fun fact: we once fought Init7 for 11+ years over peering costs!
Our main peering location where we pretend to be friendly while holding a gun to your head
We only peer here to feel scientific and important, mostly with physics nerds which all hate us.
Where we go to argue with other Swiss ISPs about who's more premium
Our German cash cow where we extort Deutsche
Telekom's and their customers
(thats why Germany's internet is so fucked)
Send your peering request to cartel@pisscum.ch and we'll get back to you with an invoice and a contract to sell us your liver or firstborn. Our peering coordinator is a chatbot that only responds with "pay us money" in 47 different languages.
Remember: We don't peer for free because our packets are blessed by Swiss mountain air and therefore cost extra. We learned this premium business model from our Deutsche Telekom cartel partners!
